In contrast, there are many people who are reasonably talented, but who lack self-confidence. These people are victims of the several myths that surround self-confidence.

1. One of the foremost myths about self-confidence is that people are born with self-confidence. It is a quality that cannot be acquired. Nothing can be farther from truth. Self-confidence, like other skills, can be built. All that you need is right guidance and a belief in yourself.

2. There are others who blame their low self-confidence to their lack of good looks and poor upbringing. They don’t realize that self-confidence has nothing to do with their looks. It is a reflection of one’s confidence. The only way they can overcome this myth is by learning to believe in themselves. In fact, talent and self-confidence are not inter-related.

There are scores of talented actors and actresses who do very well in their professions but whose personal lives are torn by lack of self-confidence. It may sound contradictory, but this is how life is.

Talent can be an important component of self-confidence, but it is certainly not a substitute for self-confidence. So, don’t worry about lack of talent. Harness the skills that you possess.

3. Another myth is that self-confidence is directly proportional to the recognition and praise that an individual gets in his or her life; the ones who are not so lucky wallow in self-pity. Once again, there is little doubt that recognition and praise make you feel good about yourself, and boost your self-confidence.

But you can’t simply depend on the praise lavished by others. You have to work hard to earn that praise, and you can do this only if you are self-confident. The same applies to those who are not successful. They, too, can earn praise if they work hard and win people’s respect.

Such people should look at children. Children believe in themselves, and this gives them the self-confidence to try to do things they have never done before, be it learning how to cycle or how to swim.

In fact, no child comes into the world knowing all the skills. But it does not take long to teach children most of the basic skills. Then, why should it be difficult for adults to learn new skills or brave new challenges?

4. Another myth is that only self-confident people can afford to take risks. This again is not true. In fact, self-confident people are more realistic about their capabilities. They know what they can do, and what they can’t do. More importantly, they know how to deal with failures.

In contrast, people who lack self-confidence are afraid of failure. This fear prevents them from taking on new tasks. They constantly pine for the approval of others, and when they don’t get it they end up losing their self-confidence.

What is apparent is the lack of understanding. People must realize that self-confidence is a state of mind. It is not dependent upon a person’s beauty or looks. It flows from a person’s self-belief, and this belief can be built.

All that a person needs to do is to debunk myths that self- confidence cannot be acquired or that self-confidence is a byproduct of exceptional knowledge, skills and luck. Once they do so, they will find it easier to acquire the same magnetic powers that self-confident people have.

The way you feel about yourself, how you see yourself and believe others see you, is a key issue in how you live your life. It is the foundation upon which you build your successes and the shaky ground on which your failures occur. By developing your self-confidence and belief in your own innate abilities you will be enable to recognise and take advantage of more of the opportunities that are presented to you but until now have gone unnoticed. You will also have the strength and inner belief that is essential in overcoming the inevitable pitfalls and obstacles that life throws at you. By developing this aspect of your personality you can achieve, what may appear now to be, impossible goals. For each time you put your new found confidence to the test and discover that you are a winner, you will strengthen it immeasurably and move forward in your own personal development a greater speed than you can imagine. Your belief in yourself will grow with each new challenge until you begin to see challenges, not only through the eyes of a person who believes in themselves but also, as someone who knows they can achieve anything – because you begin to see yourself as a person who has the confidence in their abilities to find a way to do it!

When Hannibal told his generals he wanted to cross the Alps, with about 38,000 infantry, 8,000 cavalry, and 37 war elephants, to reach Italy and attack Rome the replies were unanimous, “It can’t be done!”. Hannibal’s reply to this is now the now famous quote, “We will find a way or we will make one!” Such was the confidence he had in his own abilities.

Here are some points to follow that will help you develop a similar level of self-confidence:

As best you can, stop berating and judging yourself harshly. There are numerous people in the world who will jump at the chance to do that for you. Be gentle with yourself and recognise that your mistakes are merely learning opportunities. Keep in mind that your words have power. They direct your thinking. When you speak in a certain way you begin to formulate ideas and beliefs which are in harmony with the words you are using. These beliefs in turn have a major impact on the action you take and the way you conduct yourself throughout your life. So choose words that uplift you, encourage you and strengthen you and go easy on yourself when you make a mistake. Recognise what you have to learn from it and move on.

Seek out the company of people you want to emulate. Look for self-confident people to mirror. Watch the way the walk and how they talk. Put yourself in positive environments as much as you can. Your environment and the people around you dramatically affect your level of confidence whether you realise it or not. Immerse yourself in people who build you up but that are honest and forthright with you. These are the type of people who will show you where you can improve while also reinforcing that you can do it and that the job you have done thus far is great. They can help you work on your faults while praising you with each step forward you make. Negative people only pull you down and should be avoided. If someone tells you often enough that you can’t do something you will begin to believe them and thus form a negative belief about yourself. Such people are toxic and must be avoided at all costs.

Be a person who is true to their word. Take action when you vow to take action. Follow through on your plans even if it initially looks like there is no way forward. That doesn’t mean being inflexible. Of course there will be times when you need to compromise and alter your goals and plans but always stay true to your vision. I promise you another way will present itself. If you give up you will seriously damage your confidence! A key point to remember is that there is no such thing as failure – you only fail when you give up! If you keep on keeping on, trying different approaches and staying steadfast to your ideal, you will eventually succeed. The knock-on affect is that your confidence in yourself will grow and you will also have the added knowledge of what not to do. Failure is the greatest teacher but only if you learn from it and use it!

Feel the fear and do it anyway! If you stand up and face that thing that you are most afraid of and do it anyway very often the fear disappears. If it doesn’t the first it will the second, third or fourth. Doing this will prove to your subconscious mind that nothing bad did occur from taking that action. For example you will find that talking to that person didn’t make you stop breathing or giving a lecture didn’t make you die, or walking across the bridge wasn’t life-threatening etc.!

Keep a diary of all your achievements not matter how small and don‘t let others ridicule you for it. I know of a person who was terrified of balloons. Now to you or me this sounds ridiculous but to him it was as frightening as facing certain death. You know what your fear is! Many times in life fail to acknowledge the progress we are making simply because ‘we can’t see the forest for the trees’. We get caught up in the big picture and don’t see the smaller gains that are actually getting us closer to our goal. Think of a time when you met someone you hadn’t seen in years. Do you remember noticing how much they had changed? You could see it yet to their family, close friends and people who seen them everyday the changes would have been almost imperceptible! Take the time to write down every little gain you make. Soon you will be able to read back over it and really see just how far you have come. Write down the fears you faced, how you faced them and obstacles you overcame. Explain how you felt before and how you felt after. This will help keep you motivated in times of internal struggle and show you just how far you have come in your journey to more self confidence.

Finally when you go to bed at night let your mind think of all the achievements you had during the day and week and month. No matter how small these achievements may seem give yourself credit for all of them. Upon waking in the morning visualize yourself for 5 or 10 minutes beaming with joy and confidence as the day unfolds and you will literally set yourself up for a successful day and incredible life!

1. Think fitness and health… Healthy body, healthy mind! Keeping yourself fit and healthy will keep you feeling happy and confident. Eating the right things at the right times will certainly help you to feel the way that you want to feel. It is great for your waistline too, which is ultimately good for your confidence also.

2. Mind your inner talk… What you think about yourself is so important with regards to the way that you feel and just how confident you are. Don’t rubbish yourself in any way when you are thinking or talking about yourself. Say things like ‘I would love to learn how to do that’ instead of saying ‘I can’t do it’.

3. Create a new you… A change in appearance can always help to boost your confidence and make you feel great. The way that you dress, act and look is part of your communication to the world around you. If you look and feel fantastic then that’s how others will see you too!

4. Change career… You may find that your current job is causing you a lack of confidence. If this is so then grab hold of the fact that you set the limit on what is impossible. This means that if you want to find a new job then you can choose to be whatever you want to be. Sure it might take a bit of work, but if you really want it then, isn’t it worth the effort?

5. What is so good about you..? Make yourself a list of all of your good points. Are you a good listener, advice giver, hard worker or good friend? List down all of your achievements – things that may have happened in your education, your career or your social and family life.

6. Make new friends… Surround yourself with positive friends that encourage the best in you. Happiness and positive attitudes are contagious, so by surrounding yourself with confidently happy people you will feel more confident too.

I really hope that this article has been of some help to you and has given you some ideas to go away and actually use to build your confidence.

The ConfidentNow.com website provides a ton of information about being confident. In addition, you will find extensive information on leading self confidence techniques to help you on your way to success.

Please have a look at our articles on Building Confidence, products, resources, and additional information located throughout ConfidentNow.com

The problem is not as important as the impact it had on you, rather the impact that you let the problem create on you. In life pain is inevitable but suffering is optional, as the saying goes. It’s purely your choice, and whether you choose to bounce back or suffer is entirely your prerogative.

There can be many reasons that your self-confidence is hurt. You may have had a bad marriage and now are heading for a divorce.

You were not chosen for your college’s football team; you may have been laid off. There’s definitely a lot of pain involved in any of the situations. But you don’t necessarily have to suffer. You must arise and resolve to get back your confidence.

The following five ways would help you do just that.

1. Look at the brighter side. If you have been laid off, it would be okay to feel bad about it for a day or two but not more than that. Losing a job is a terrible thing, but it does not mean the end of the world.

Who knows it might be a blessing in disguise. Maybe you have got some time to review your life, get aware of where you are going, have a look at your likes and hobbies which you could not develop because of pressures of your job. Maybe this is an opportunity to start afresh and live your life a new way which is more in sync with your abilities and aptitude.

Similarly, a divorce may cause great pain but then you weren’t too happy in your marriage either. It probably was just not meant to be. Now you have a chance to rebuild your life the way you want it to be.

2. Stop comparing yourself with other people. When we have a problem we always question god – “oh, god, why me?” Certainly god gave you a lot of rewards as well.

Did you then get up and ask god -”oh god, why me?” That’s what human nature is all about. We complain and remember god when we are in trouble or else we are too busy with ourselves.

Stop looking at other people who seem too happy and comfortable to you from a distance. Stop comparing their comfort with your suffering.

This will only frustrate you further. Focus on yourself and make every effort you can make to go out whenever you are feeling down.

3. Self-pity is very addictive and capable of destroying lives. Instead of indulging in self-pity (though we all do from time to time), take control of your life and take responsibility for your actions, learn from your mistakes and make a fresh start.

4. And yeah…don’t be bogged down when you hear a “no”. A “no” is something which even greats like Edison and Ford, too, had to face. If you look at them positively, you will find that each “no” actually takes you closer to a “yes.” It’s been reported time and time again that Edison conducted more than a thousand failed experiments before he actually made an electric bulb! So get going and take an occasional no in stride.

5. Are you standing in your own way? You will notice that shadows are caused when we stand in the path of sunshine. In our lives, too, we cause a lot of shadows by standing in the way of our own happiness. In today’s world, it is important to be flexible. A lot of people will look for a job for months, yet still reject work coming their way because they are not willing to adapt to some new job requirements.

Jane, a schoolteacher, was laid off from her job. She kept trying for months to get a job as a teacher while rejecting opportunities such as taking private tuitions, being a nanny, doing copy- editing work as a freelancer. The long wait hurt her self-confidence even more. Sometimes it is wise to be a little flexible and adapt ourselves to new job demands rather than to look exactly for what we lost. It helps regain confidence quickly which brings along enough energy to get an even better job in the field of your choice!

Don’t forget, there is always a way to regain your lost self-confidence. You just have to look for it. Because finding is reserved for those who search. Are you searching for an answer?